(on his lack of musical ability early on) I wasn't daunted about the fact that they all came from classical sheet music school because I had the best haircut. And they were shit before I joined them.


(what he dreamt about during the making of the 'No Distance Left To Run' video) I was in Germany in a karaoke bar. I think I was a leopard for a minute.


(on the 'Country House'/'Roll With It' battle) It was pantomime, darling!


(from 'Oh Dear Diary, Or Am I Unwell?' - NME, 17 June 1995) It's Wednesday again. Hooray. It's down to Radio 1 and I'm trying to think of three things to say to the listeners, but the taxi's not here and I look like a potato. I get in a taxi and say some 'oms' but I've got the late fear and the potato fear, and they've started without me. Going on the radio is like talking to a nice girl you know; you think of perfect things to say and things to talk about but you can't premeditate love or the media.


(on the etiquette of his 3-year, £500,000 Champagne binge) Champagne gives you bad breath - so you have to eat one raw carrot per bottle.


(on how to do baked potatoes!) You want a big one, big ones are always floury and fluffy.


You can't say that we're unemotional! Emotion is inherent in everything we do. Emotion isn't about standing on mountains going, 'I'VE GOT A BROKEN HEART!' If you're going to sing about your heart, you might as well rhyme it with fart, as far as I'm concerned...


England's all right, you know? We discovered light-emitting plastics.


I only go out once or twice a week now. Monday to Wednesday and Thursday to Sunday.


Drunk and ridiculous - that's how I wanted to spend my 20s. But it's not so elegant when you get older and start looking like a potato.


What you've got to do is look in your cupboard, see what's there, put it all in a big pot, sprinkle some grated cheese on top and bung it in the oven. That's what pop music is all about.


(on early band Mr. Pang's Big Bangs) We had this song called 'The Neighbours Are Coming Around', which started really quietly and then got louder until the neighbours came round. It was all cheeky experimental bollocks.


(on his pop star lifestyle) Have a few beers and stumble home with the girls. Put the Kylie Minogue on and get the phone book out. 'Morning Schmorning!' we scream down people's answerphones.


Ah, yes Monday evening. Very nice. Brings out a more reckless class of drinker.


It's so easy to rock. It's much easier than being theatrical and satirical and ironic, like we were on 'The Great Escape'. And if you play rock music, suddenly all these people appear. It's funny.


What will I do after Blur? Climb a mountain, jump in a river. I've absolutely no idea.


Everywhere you go, you get beer and drugs for free, girls scream at you and you feel... (pauses, thinks)... shit actually, most of the time. But it's good.


You only live once. Get drunk, be a tart, enjoy yourself.


(on 'Face', Damon's acting debut) Damon went to drama school, he always wanted to act. I've always wanted to get drunk and be famous. We've both got our wishes.


Well, I enjoyed being naughty on Lufthansa the most, that was the highlight for me. Becoming a football hooligan with a mission. Perhaps that's what we are really.


(on life in Seymour in 1989) I was learning to speak French during the days, Graham was putting telephones in washing-up bowls and Dave was driving a brown Ford Escort estate around Colchester and working for the council.


(on remixes) It's like giving your dog to someone to take for a walk, and when they bring it back it's a different dog.


(on fame and continual touring) I've got incredibly bad breath, very smelly feet, a headache, and everybody wants to know me.


(after being offered some absinthe) No, I won't drink absinthe. Not since I woke up in Richmond once without my trousers on.


Stephen Street told me, 'Do you know there are no guitars on the chorus of Song 2?' It's two basses, apparently. But don't tell Graham or he won't play it live.


(on people who say they have mousey brown hair) I've seen a mouse and I've never seen hair that colour.


(on his remix of Bugman) Yes, I'm offering a gay remixing service. I will make your records gay - give me another couple of days I'll give you a hit single.


I did throw a television out of a window one year on my birthday, just to see what would happen. I checked there was no one coming up Shaftesbury Avenue first, though. It was disappointing overall, it didn't really explode like I hoped it would. The police were very good about it.


(on WigWam) That's what we set out to do - to be on the edge of acceptability. It's about 90% sugar and 10% cheese. You see, who would have thought that people would be listening to Chic, instead of Genesis? This means that hopefully in 20 years people will still be talking about WigWam, because it is a completely stupid load of nonsense, but cool as well. It's like Crazy Frog but cool. We don't want to be accused of jumping on the Frog bandwagon.


(on his Britpop excesses) The Mars Bar in Endell Street became the major hang. Plus I was living above Freud's. I was living above a cocktail bar and I was in the Mars Bar so often they gave me the keys. It was like Dante's Inferno.